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  kid help moving go easier A recent post to a Facebook page I follow and contibute to asked the question, "How can I get packed for a move with three little kids wanting to help?"  The posting parent wanted to let the kids feel helpful, but at the same time needed to get things done.  The littlest was not making the process easy at all.  

Many times the critical needs of the moment, be it moving, vacation, doing chores, or preparing for special occasions can really make parenting a nightmare.  The last thing anyof us want to do is hurt the feelings of our child when all they are doing is trying to help.  But what can you do in these times of adult stress so that you do not pass the stress on to your child or become abusing out of frustration.  Here are 3 simple solutions that you can do to really impact the outcome for you and the child.  

1. Make the packing a game.  packing up a home is a major chore, even for adults.  The last thing we need os to let our stress and frustration spill out onto the kids.  By making the event a game it lessens the stress and includes those ever so eager helping hands. here are a couple of ways to make a game out of the chore.

     a. Create a scavenger hunt.  Tell the kids that they need to find 1 of this or 2 of that and bring them right back to you.  This will assure that they are not getting breakables, and also make sure that they are not under foot so you can work on your list.

     b. Race.  Does it really matter if the socks are folded or even match when you are packing?  I hope not.  There are far more imortant things to worry about than little things like folded underwear and matched socks.  Give the child a box and a specific clothing item.  Tell them you are going to work on your box and race and you will time them to see how long it takes to fill the box.  This playful way of dealing with mundane things will ease the bourden and involve the kids in the task.

2. Schedule the "heavy lifting" work for nap times and play dates.  Lets be real.  There are times in the moving process when the kids just need to go.  It is better for everyone.  Since you are moving, they will want to have "one last visit" with friends anyway, so schedule play dates and then go to work on the fragile, big, and difficult items.  You will feel less stress and they will not be effected by the chaos or get underfoot triggering a flurry of undesired and un intended verbal of physical reactions.

3. Ask your self these very important and universal questions.

     Why do I care?  It is important to put into perspective our own emotional and mental reactions to things - especially our reactions to the children.  When we ask "Why do I care about ...?" we are inviting our subconscious to reply.  This can be a very interesting conversation if we are ready to listen.

     What does it matter?  Some things are just not as important as others.  Your childs emotional and mental welbeing and your own emotional stress level are far more important than that vase or grandma's cookie jar.  As hard as it is to hear that sometimes, your children are going to outlast those things anyway.  By keeping that in perspective, you free yourself from the potential frustration and anger that are looming around the corner, 

Ultimately, you want to make the move as enjoyable and event free as possible.  When you follow these 3 simpole suggestions you will be on your way to maintaing the emotional attachment your children need for success.

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